I quit Elden Ring three years ago, now I can’t stop playing it: Here’s why

Elden Ring is in the news again. With Elden Ring Nightreign set to receive a tabletop RPG adaptation, the Lands Between are finding new life far beyond consoles and PCs. For many players it is a reminder of a game they conquered long ago. For others, it is an invitation to finally jump in. But for me, it is something else entirely. It is a reminder of a game I once quit out of sheer frustration and somehow ended up playing every single day taking a total of 200 hours spent in it. Not even exaggerating. 

I walked away from Elden Ring three years ago convinced it was not for me. Not because it was bad, but because it felt hostile in a way few games dare to be. It did not teach, it did not reassure, and it certainly did not care whether I was having fun. And yet, despite quitting, despite uninstalling it mentally long before I ever did physically, Elden Ring stayed with me.

That, I have realised, is exactly what kept me going. 

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Say goodbye to your comfort zone

Most modern games are designed to keep players comfortable. Failure is softened, progress is clearly marked, and even difficulty is often framed as a setting you can toggle on and off. But Elden Ring rejects all of that. It does not rush you forward, nor does it stop you from making terrible decisions. If you walk straight up to the Tree Sentinel at the start of the game, it will kill you without apology.

And that indifference is what makes the game so addictive even if you don’t realise it immediately.

When I returned to Elden Ring years later, I did not suddenly get better at the game. What changed was my relationship with failure. Elden Ring does not punish you for dying. It simply resets the board and waits. There is no narrative judgement, just an unspoken question – what are you going to try differently this time?

That loop is deceptively powerful as every death feels like feedback rather than rejection. The game never tells you that you are bad, but it constantly shows you where you were careless, impatient, or greedy. And once you start reading those lessons, it becomes very hard to stop.

Elden Ring makes you earn your progress

What kept pulling me back was not the promise of victory, but the clarity of improvement. Elden Ring makes progress tangible. You feel it in the way your stamina lasts longer, in how enemy attacks start to look readable instead of chaotic, in the confidence that slowly replaces panic.

That is why moments like finally defeating Margit feel transformative. Margit the Fell Omen is not just a boss. He is a test of patience, observation, and humility. Beating him did not suddenly make the game easy, but it fundamentally changed how I approached everything after. Fear gave way to curiosity. Instead of asking “can I survive this,” I started asking “what can I learn from this.”

Elden Ring is addictive because it rewards learning, not grinding. You can overlevel if you want, but the real progress happens in your head. When you finally win, it is because you understood something you did not before. That kind of reward lingers.

There is no right way to do things

Another reason Elden Ring refuses to let go is its world design. The Lands Between are not a checklist. They are an invitation. You are never forced to bang your head against a wall. If a fight feels impossible, you can walk away, explore, and return stronger, wiser, or simply calmer.

That freedom is rare, and it creates a sense of ownership over your journey. Every discovery feels personal because the game never pointed you there. Whether it is stumbling into a hidden cave, finding an NPC you completely missed earlier, or summoning help for a fight that finally goes your way, the game constantly rewards curiosity over persistence.

Ironically, that freedom is what makes players persist.

When Elden Ring stopped being a punishment

Somewhere along my playthrough, Elden Ring stopped feeling punishing. It became familiar. Gentle, even. I started logging in without a goal, wandering through Limgrave, listening to the rain, sitting under the Erdtree’s glow. The same world that once overwhelmed me became a place I returned to in order to unwind.

That shift is perhaps Elden Ring’s greatest trick. It transforms stress into comfort not by changing itself, but by changing you. What once felt oppressive becomes meditative. What once felt impossible becomes routine. And by the time you realise it has happened, you are already deep into NG+, with no real desire to finish anything.

You are just there because you want to be.

Why is the game so addicting?

So, Elden Ring is addictive because it respects the player enough to let them fail, leave, and return on their own terms. It does not beg for your attention or reward you with artificial dopamine loops. Instead, it builds a world that quietly waits for you to understand it.

I quit Elden Ring three years ago because it overwhelmed me. I play it every day now because it trusts me.

And if you quit at some point too, do not worry. With Elden Ring back in the spotlight once again, chances are you will feel that pull eventually.

We all do.

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